on staying present while moving forward

spring began early this year but decided to creep into the ground rather tentatively. 

only now is the sun's heat an extended play date, instead of a  incidental peek-a-boo.

only now are the cherry blossoms managing to bloom together. 

things feel like they're looking up. 

but i feel a change rising in the soul of my little universe, in particular, among the circle of people i happen to be in contact with: a change, in varying phases of fruition. unsteady, and yet moving onward, if not upward. there is goodness. there is also a lot of pain and different degrees of suffering and sacrifice.

i know i'm being very vague here, but what i'm getting at is that where there is change, there is hope. and the thing that needs to happen when the tide propels us forward, is to make a choice to lean into it, without clinging to the comforts of habit. to willingly choose to say goodbye to the things that were and the immerse oneself in the things that are. 

to be present.

to be present in the face of change is to participate in the step forward. 

i began this blog because i needed an outlet. i wanted to give myself an opportunity to be creative, to share photographs, to obsess about knitting, to communicate with friends and family and even strangers about family life and motherhood. 

what i've discovered in nearly 5 months of sharing this journal with you, is that i've come to rely on the blog to help me stay focused on, what i now realize to be, my life goals. 

life gets so busy. it's annoyingly easy to get caught up in so many things that don't matter. writing regularly and forcing myself to be present, to take pictures or to just stop and really look at what's around me (instead of doing the dishes or freaking out about other dramas), has helped me to stay present while moving forward: for my wife, my children, and myself.

i recently said to a friend that motherhood isn't about perfection, it's about best efforts and sincere intentions. i would say i have the same perspective on everything else in my life. but being a caregiver is not easy. you are your own worst critic. even if you're lucky enough to be working as part of a team, staying connected throughout the chaos is a concerted effort. 

so if you've been reading, whether family, friend, or perfect stranger, i thank you. whatever you may think about my beginner knitting, amateur photographs, and patchy writing - i am appreciative that we are connecting in this virtual sense. good energy is welcome energy. 

if you've left a comment, thank you for taking the time to continue the conversation. your insights are always welcome. 

if you've tried my recipes, do let me know how they've turned out. i'm not a cookbook writer. i'm a home cook who loves to eat. so if you've improved on anything or if i can improve the recipe in some way, let me know. good food must be shared.

i hope you're having a good week so far!